I decided to switch to blogger instead of my former blogging site. So, this first entry was actually written on November 3, 2013 and copied and pasted here. Ladies and Gentlemen, my first blog entry:
For anyone who knows me, they know I have never had a problem talking. Writing, however, is not a dialogue. It's just me sharing my thoughts...no way to see the expressions on others faces as they read (am I going to be able to write things as funny as I think I can say them? Will the reader understand what I meant when I am not able to add a million disclaimers so as to not offend anyone?) These are simply a few of the questions that go into my thoughts when writing a blog. Most specifically, will anyone read it? Well, I decided I don't care if others want to read it. I'm gonna write it anyway. So, here I go...my first blog. Get ready to live, people! ;)
To give a wee bit of background on myself, first and foremost, I am a lover of Jesus Christ and believer that I am nothing without Him in my life. I am a University of TN grad (Go VOLS!) who is blessed to be the wife of a wonderful man, Jim, mom of two biological boys, Lucas, 5, and Jacob, 3, (Luke and Jake as often referred to), and the mom of one soon-to-be adopted little girl, Emily (Emma) in China. I have been incredibly blessed to have an amazing extended family, on both Jim and my sides, and several siblings, nieces, nephews, etc. Basically, my family is pretty dang awesome. I am a Realtor and I love working with people to help them find their home--lots of work, but so much fun! (most of the time ;) ) While also waiting on our little girl, Jim and I are building our home that we hope to live in for a very long time. He is acting as the GC (he has a full time job with a production builder), so building this house has been a lot of work and stress! It's definitely been exciting and fun, but exhausting as well. We laugh and say if we can make it through this adoption and build without killing one another (figuratively) we will be shocked. So far, so good!
So, I have been asked many questions about adoption. I am going to attempt to answer many of the questions I have been asked. I'm going to warn you...this first blog is long. If anyone has more questions, you know where to find me ;)
1) Why adopt? You had no problems getting pregnant and seemed to have pretty easy pregnancies and deliveries?...These are true statements. I was blessed in getting pregnant easily and quickly with both boys. Also, while I was sick pretty much all day everyday with Jake (I'm a good faker in person but Jim and the Dr. know how sick I truly was), I would say my pregnancies were both pretty easy. However, our reasoning is simple...One Less Orphan. Jim and I decided we wanted a third child and could not shake the fact that there are millions (yes millions) of children already in this world who need homes. I can't adopt millions, but I can adopt one. Additionally, as a Christian, we are called to care for orphans. What better way to care for an orphan than to bring one into my home and family forever?
2) Isn't adoption expensive? I could never afford it. Yes, adoption is very expensive, this is true. Not only the cost of all of the adoption fees, but traveling is outrageous as well. However, this money is going towards a life. Your child's life. People buy cars and homes everyday, for far more than the cost of adoption. Also, I promise there are people out there who want to give money to adoptions..I promise. The Lord is not going to let money stop you if your heart is ready and willing to adopt. I have had clients with real estate come out of the blue this year, and the money I have made has gone towards this adoption...coincidence...I think not. God definitely has His hands in this. :)
3) Did you just want a girl? I can't imagine going through this whole process just to get a girl. Yes, I am SO excited about bows and headbands, etc. But, I adore my boys. I love having boys. They are wild and into everything and rambunctious, but oh so sweet and loving and wonderful. If I didn't feel called to adopt, I would have just tried for another baby biologically. Odds are, that baby would have been a boy. In fact, when we started the process we were open to a boy or girl. So, for us, no--it had nothing to do with wanting a girl. It had to do with wanting a third child and feeling called to adopt.
4) Adoption is so trendy right now...I couldn't do it. Ha ha, this isn't really a question but I felt it needed to be commented on. When I think trendy, I think scarves and skinny jeans and chevron patterns, etc. Things that are in now and gone tomorrow. Adoption is not a trend. Perhaps more and more people are doing it because they are seeing the need, and that is AWESOME!! But, unlike floral wallpaper of the 80's, this child will be here to stay. Period.
5) Aren't you afraid you aren't going to love her the same as your real kids? Yes, I have been asked this...again, I know the person meant nothing by it. First off, our daughter IS our real child. Just because she did not come out of my belly does not mean she is any less mine than Lucas or Jacob. Now, I remember when Luke was almost 2 and we were close to having Jake. Jim and I started getting very emotional (sorry Jim to tell on you for crying) about having another child. How will we ever love him the same as Luke?? I am sure most parents with more than one child have experienced this feeling. But, as you all know, the minute Jake was born, our hearts expanded. The minute we meet our baby girl, our hearts will expand as well. I do think, however, asking this question is a fair question...when you love your children so much, how could you love one that doesn't come from you the same? But, I am confident that we are going to love this child fully and unconditionally.
6) You guys are so great for doing this. Again, not a question but it still needs to be commented on. I've never quite known how to respond to this statement. Jim and I are called to adopt by the Lord. That's nothing about greatness in us..only in God. And, yes, by giving this child a forever family, we will be blessing her. But, she will be blessing us too, far more than we could ever bless her. Of this I am sure. She is not a charity case...she is a blessing. Our blessing.
7) Are you afraid it's going to be hard when she comes home? Absolutely. I know it's going to be tough. And, if by some chance it's not tough right away, it will be later. I am not blindly or naively going into this adoption...I think some people unfortunately do not do the research and talk to others who have adopted. Then those people are shocked that it's not all rainbows and butterflies when the child gets home. It's going to be tough. We will be taking this child from everything she knows and bringing her into our home. Later in life, she will have questions that we can't answer because we won't know. We have no idea all of the illnesses and hereditary disorders her bloodline could be carrying. Guess what? This is parenting. It's the biggest gamble in the world. We will love her with all of our hearts, through the good and the bad, teach her about Christ, and pray for her future. We will care for her and provide for her to the best of our ability. But, outside of these things, we got nuthin'. We can't predict the future. But, I could spend every day worried about the unknowns of my daughter, while one of my biological kids gets hit by a car or gets cancer or something else tragic happens. Like I said, parenting is a gamble. All I can do is love my kids, care for my kids, and trust that the rest is in God's hands.
I'm sure I have been asked many more things, but this blog is getting long..especially for my first one. I will spare my reader, and end on this: The purpose of this blog is not to lead people to adopt...it's simply to share where we are. However, if people end up adopting as a result of our adoption, AMAZING! I know part of the reason we want to adopt is because of what we have seen in other's adoptions. I hope our situation can have the same effect. Many sweet friends have asked for updates on the house, and I can post on that stuff later. For now, good night and happy Adoption Sunday/Orphan Sunday!!
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